X-Message-Number: 17635
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2001 15:06:00 -0400
From: James Swayze <>
Subject: R E S P E C T
References: <>

David Pascal wrote:

"I thank Mr. Darwin for graciously and properly pointing out that saying a
thing is not necessarily the same thing as doing it.  (If it were, the
verbal exchanges on Cryonet would be a sea of dead bodies.)"


I've been mulling over something I'd like to say about certain comments made 
here and the public treatment of others for days now. It's time to speak up.


When one becomes disabled to the degree I am, if one is observant, one learns a 
lot about human nature and especially if one is male one learns a lot about how 
males interact with each other. I've often said that I get along with women 
better than I do with men. The following will help to understand why.


When strange to each other men pass in a hallway there is often a very subtle 
and very brief exchange of a very great amount of information. It's done in a 
quick glance and often accompanied by a nod of recognition. It's very primal. It
hearkens back to more unsure and barbaric times. In that glance and nod the two
men assess the other's threat potential, status, wealth, health, likelihood of 
having females and perhaps an estimate of how many. In that exchange we men try 
to assess if the other will be friend or foe, compete with us successfully for 
females, potentially do us

physical or fiscal harm and a host of other things. We can tell if the other is 
brave or likely to be or likely to be cowardly. It's all in the eyes.


I feel it's probably to do with how quickly the other meets one's gaze and how 
long it's held and maybe some other subtleties but it's still all in the eyes. 
Not tooting my own horn but when I was walking I had some considerable threat 
potential. I was tall, strong, not bad looking, considered intelligent, outgoing
and martial arts trained. I never went looking for trouble but it often found 
me and I can honestly say it never bested me.


So now when strange men do the assessment thing with me they get a mixed signal.
My eyes still show the threat but my body can't really back it up. I feel it 
gets in the way sometimes and has even caused outright aversion and even 
violence on more than one occasion. I don't try to put off the threat signal 
because I am a likable guy but one can't really control this. One is either 
strong willed or not and it shows through.


So what's this have to do with comments to each other on Cryonet? Well since I'm
able to recognize this behavior I can also recognize another. It's an unwritten
law men observe. Let me clarify this. It's an unwritten law men observe _in the
presence of_ one another. Predators in the natural world tend to leave each 
other alone. Each knows an injury is costly and even a small one life 
threatening to a creature that must constantly hunt others for sustenance. We 
are predators still despite our civilization and societal mores. The same law 
applies. So men in the presence of one another

tend to be respectful of the other to minimize the potential of violence. Each 
knows the other's threat potential which often might be equal but even if not a 
non equal can do serious damage.


So in person we are more polite. Get where I'm going with this now? If you 
wouldn't say it with the RESPECT you would observe in person then is it right to
still say it just because distance and anonymity makes it safer? I tell you 
what, if things were said to me in person that are said to some on here, I'd 
bitch slap you wheelchair or not! Any further disrespectful comments made in 
this safety zone I will consider simply cowardice.

James
--
From the point of ignition
To the final drive
The point of the journey
is not to arrive --RUSH

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