X-Message-Number: 20286 Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 15:49:21 -0700 From: James Swayze <> Subject: Searching to find if there's a decision yet in TW's case I found this http://camden.villagesoup.com/opinions/GuestCols.cfm?StoryID=1941 Pete McDonald: Greed on ice (July 9): So now we hear that Teddy Ballgame, or maybe just his head, is in a lab somewhere frozen like last summer's forgotten Popsicle. You know the one I mean. It was half-melted, so you stuck it under the two-for-a-buck packages of English muffins. But then you went off muffins because you couldn't button your trousers anymore and your zipper was running almost parallel to your feet and you forgot all about it. And now, like they say down to The Wellness Center, Mr. Popsicle has become one with the freezer. Yeah, that one. What a (expletive-deleted) country! Forget Enron and Martha and nuts to Al Qaeda, too. This is wicked bad stuff. I'm serious. Take every old saw you ever heard about History and there's plenty of 'em and show me the one that says to preserve it in liquid nitrogen or whatever it is these cryo-freakoids use. And if Ted Williams ain't about history, then you haven't been paying attention. Even if you're like my favorite rotund Australian newspaperperson and don't know the difference between the ball and the bat, you can't deny that his accomplishments on and off the field define the difference between real-versus-Hollywood myth. He deserves better than to be Fed-Exed to Arizona like he was a Graffam Brothers' lobster. Hell, everybody does. What it is, simply put, is that blessed that Ted Williams was, he was cursed the day his only son first breathed air. He sired a classic goniff and that's a hell of a thing to happen to anyone. I know plenty of murderers and I know plenty of thieves and give me the murderer every single time. Sure, murderers are impulsive people, but a thief schemes and sneaks and if they can, they come back for more. You can only be murdered once, which is pretty much the best that can be said for it. I'm here to say that someone should take John Henry Williams out behind the barn and have an old-fashioned man-to-creep conversation with him and I volunteer. And hey, no shoving, everyone gets a turn, even though the line will be so big, the astronauts will see it from space. What he's doing is preserving his father's DNA so he can squeeze a few more nickels out of the poor old bastard by selling it on e-bay or at autograph shows or maybe door-to-door. This mutt is so low he has to look up to see down. He's the biggest hump in the camel farm and he deserves to have his rear-end handed to him. (I won't soon forget wanting to throw a bottle through the TV when an ailing Ted was wheeled across Fenway Park at the All-Star game wearing his rotten son's soon-to-fail dot.com hat and shirt instead of a Red Sox hat. It's not often sacrilege is televised coast-to-coast. It's not often that legend becomes a billboard for greed. It's not often that I get that way and anyway, it was O'Meara's TV.) I'm not the only one who believes that since John Henry is a walking, talking example of Ted William's DNA, the Surgeon General should put a warning on it like it was a pack of smokes -- Warning: Use of this DNA increases the risk of adding another lying, thieving scumbag to a world that has enough already but I'm one of the few willing to risk the lawsuit. (What, me worry? I ain't worried. I know Jimmy Brannan, Esquire, personally. He knows baseball. He knows history. He knows what's right. He reads the Globe every day. This is why "beloved" and "Jimmy Brannan" can usually be found within a few words of each other. At least if I'm writing them they are.) And that's what this kid does. He sues and gets sued and except for selling little pieces of his father, he's never done an honest days work in his miserable life. In a world of givers and takers, he is the Poster Child for takers. Currently, he is taking a spot on a minor-league team and keeping some deserving kid from realizing a dream, that is until he broke a rib chasing a foul ball that he would have dropped anyway. And last time I looked, he was still on the team. The scouting reports on him have been interesting: "Can't hit, catch or throw. Slithers instead of runs. Bad clubhouse presence, especially when shedding his skin and selling his father's fingernail clippings between innings. Has no future in baseball. Wants a ten-year deal." Maybe now that his meal ticket has been frozen he can climb back under his rock, but I'm not holding my breath and damn, I wish I was holding his. But like they say, If wishes were horses, John Henry Williams would figure out a way to sell 'em. This past weekend, it was Updike and Gammons and Halberstam on Ted Williams. Dude, I even suffered through Bob Ryan and everyone knows how much I hate his know-it-all guts. There was glory in their words. Glory. Like a peek at Heaven actually, where Ted Williams should be instead of a (another, worse expletive deleted) refrigerator in Arizona. And now you've read mine. See you at the ballpark. [end quoted article] *Then it has this: Add your comments on this story So here's the url, let's give this moron an earfull. http://camden.villagesoup.com/Opinions/Letters.cfm?GID=1941 James -- Cryonics Institute of Michigan Member! The Immortalist Society Member! The Society for Venturism Member! MY WEBSITE: http://www.geocities.com/~davidpascal/swayze/ While there follow the links to photos of me and some of my artwork and a radio interview on Dr. J's ChangeSurfer Radio program with me and the father of cryonics Prof. Robert Ettinger, author of "The Prospect of Immortality". A RELIGION I actually recommend: http://uk.geocities.com/venturist2001/index.html A FAVORITE quote: Last lines of the first Star Trek the Next Generation movie. Capt. Picard: "What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived, after all Number One, we're only mortal." Will Ryker: "Speak for yourself captain, I intend to live forever!" Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=20286