X-Message-Number: 2193 From: Subject: CRYONICS: Hostile Relatives Date: Sun, 2 May 93 01:00:25 PDT To Cryonet >From Steve Bridge, President Alcor Life Extension Foundation May 1, 1993 In response to: Message: #2162 - Recalcitrant relatives Mon, 26 Apr 93 18:33:06 -0400 From: >I suspect that someone who has actually had battles with relatives >about this would have more well-tested advice. With twenty-seven patients in suspension, Alcor has had quite a lot of experience dealing with relatives of suspension patients. Even with friendly, cooperative relatives there can be many problems. One of the biggest problems that most people don't consider is that even friendly relatives (on average) don't know much about cryonics. They don't understand what the procedures include, what kinds of cooperation we need from hospital, nursing home, or family, and they don't understand why we hang around the patient for several days, asking nosy questions about the patient's blood pressure, temperature, enzyme levels, etc. We need this information to estimate when the patient might deanimate, so we 1) don't waste time and money by getting to the patient's side days early, and 2) so we can be prepared and ready to act right away when the physician (or nurse, in some cases) pronounces death. This prediction can be remarkably difficult in the best of circumstances. Several years ago I was on a transport (home hospice) which included Mike Darwin and Jerry Leaf and where the patient had a competent and attentive full-time nurse. When I awoke in the morning, I asked if I should take a shower. "Sure," I was told. "Nothing will happen for a while yet." As soon as I was in the shower, the patient stopped breathing. In our experience with families, it is difficult for them to face the fact that their relative is dying. We have found the families are reluctant to ask the physician for detailed information or extra tests which might give Alcor personnel critical information for predicting when our services will be needed. They may even ask for inappropriate (by our criteria) measures to be taken to prolong the life of a clearly terminal patient. Up until about two years, Alcor required that prospective members out a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care to complete their suspension arrangements. ["Durable" is a required term -- it means that it takes effect when the patient becomes incompetent to manage his own health care.] We stopped making it a *sign-up* requirement; but still intended It is now our recommendation (not a "requirement" yet; but we are considering it) that a Patient's Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (the "Durable" is a necessary part of that document) give authority for medical care to someone who is a cryonicist and not a relative. This person with authority is sometimes called a "medical surrogate." If you have a relative who is a cryonicist, that will often be okay. But it is a poor idea in most cases to give that power to a relative, who may not understand your needs. Having even well-intentioned non- cryonicists making members' medical decisions has sometimes led to less- than ideal suspensions, including longer ischemic times and inappropriate medical care. We have a list of Alcor members who are willing to act as Attorneys-in-fact for a D.P.A. for Health Care for other Alcor members. The preferred choice, though, is a cryonicist you trust who lives close enough to you to be available to act as your medical surrogate and who knows you well enough to understand what decisions you would want to make. As far as actively hostile relatives go, Alcor's paperwork tries to eliminate their authority over the patient by making the transfer of the patient's remains to Alcor an anatomical donation, under the terms of the Uniform Anatomical Gift Act. This mechanism has been affirmed by the courts in California. Also, California law requires relatives and the state to recognize an individual's right to choose what happens to their own remains (as long as funding is provided and as long as public health is not endangered). Several court decisions have affirmed that this right includes cryonic suspension patients. We are looking for ways to strengthen our paperwork even more in this regard. Some suspension members have tried to protect themselves from the potential of hostile relatives by not telling anyone about cryonics. Bad idea! As I wrote in a recent article in Cryonics magazine (and as I have stated various times over the years): ***** We (that means YOU and ALCOR both) need to spend more time informing relatives about cryonics. Sure, it's hard for us to explain why we want cryonic suspension, why we want to see the future, and what these cryonicists are going to do when they stand by waiting for us to stop breathing. Heck, it's hard enough to face such things ourselves, without having to explain cryonics from the bottom up to our families. But if you are *serious* about staying alive, you had better work up a little nerve and proceed. "I've even heard it said that, "I couldn't tell my family that I'm signed up for cryonics. They would be too upset." (Hidden thought: "they might reject me.") Well, friends, they're going to be a lot more upset when a few strangers show up at the hospital with a lot of formidable equipment and announce that they are hauling your body off to California to be frozen. And you probably think that WE should explain Neurosuspension to them also, right? ("And then we perform the cephalic isolation." "The what?" "We cut off little Freddie's head, ma'am." "AAACKK!") It is MUCH better for you to do this NOW, while you are still around to answer questions, to hug your family, and to send a few more years of Christmas cards." ***** We have tried to do more this year to help relatives understand cryonics and their role in the suspension; but we have much more to do. We hope in the next few months to develop letters and pamphlets especially written for relatives. >What practical steps can I take to make my suspension likely? This was asked by Rich Schroeppel, and Tim felt like an answer was too long and complex for him to tackle right now. It is for me also. However, we are currently working on a letter that will be given to all new members when they sign up which helps to answer this question. I anticipate that we will make an initial mailing to all Alcor members. Also, about four years ago, I wrote an article titled "Home Town Cryonics" for Cryonics magazine. This article gave many specific suggestions for what one can do to prepare for a suspension in one's own area. I could post it in a special file if there is interest. >going to use a power tool to cut your head off. A minor point, but we don't normally use power tools to effect cephalic isolation (thus, the "Texas Cephalic Isolation Device Massacre" is a figment of the imagination). [Don't put the macabre humor in the FAQ, please.] >6-12. How can I persuade my spouse to cooperate with my suspension > arrangements? I posted a long answer to this on the Cryonet about a year ago. Maybe Kevin can find it. It might add something to what you wrote from your experience. <Decide who owns your body. If your spouse owns your body, then you'll >have to settle for no cryonics. If you own your body, then do >cryonics and try to make your spouse deal with the resulting negative >emotions instead of you. If you and your spouse have shared ownership >of your body, then the two of you will have interminable arguments >about it; I therefore disrecommend this option. "you own your own body" is legally impossible after you are declared legally dead; you can't own anything. Actually, the laws of the various states determine who owns your body -- or at least who has the authority to dispose of it. For you to CHANGE that authority, you have to do something active. This appears to be solved by the Anatomical Donation to Alcor. PERSUADING your spouse that this solves the problem is an entirely different story, of course. A hostile relative or spouse can effectively prevent your suspension or delay it for a very long time by simply not informing Alcor that you are dead or dying. Of course, if they don't even know you are signed up, they won't call Alcor either. We don't have a radio-powered heart monitor attached to those Alcor tags, folks. Steve Bridge Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=2193