X-Message-Number: 3524 Subject: CRYONICS: family members objections Date: Wed, 21 Dec 1994 08:54:27 -0500 From: "Perry E. Metzger" <> I'm rather opinionated on this subject, as this message reveals... > From: Will Dye <> > But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because my wife is 100% > against my going into cryosuspension. > > She thinks the whole idea is sick, twisted, and generally (her term) > "spooky". Her reaction caught me completely off-guard. I had never > personally encountered strong opposition to cryonics before. 1) If your wife objects to the cost, well, the cost is minimal; less than the cost of smoking if you are a smoker. 2) If your wife objects because it makes her uncomfortable, well, you are going to have to try to convince her to ignore that. If you can't do that, you are going to have to consider on what basis the relationship runs. My girlfriend (the relationship has lasted for many years) is a religionist of sorts. I find this to be disturbing, but its her life and I don't tell her "no, you can't buy these weird quasi-religious books". She finds my belief system a bit strange, and I think she thinks of my plans on the disposition of my body after my heart stops beating to be a bit weird, but she doesn't tell me what to do, either, and I suspect that if she did the relationship wouldn't last very long. I'm not saying you should be confrontational with your wife, as that sort of approach almost never works. However, I believe you should ask yourself whether you really are going to accept someone telling you that you can't do something that doesn't materially impact them because they are "disgusted" by the idea, ESPECIALLY if that person is someone close to you, and if the something in question is also pretty important to you. > So why is this happening? Am I the one that's wrong? As I noted, I would not expect my girlfriend to tolerate my telling her what her religious views, even though I think they are loopy, and I see no reason why anyone should tolerate having their spouse tell them that they shouldn't spend a trivial sum on an eccentricity of their own that harms no one. (This, of course, assumes that you are not so poor that you would notice a couple of hundred a year; to me that is "down in the noise" given what a newspaper subscription costs. If you find yourself struggling for enough to feed the kid I could understand her concern.) Note that I phrase this in a "truth neutral" manner. It really makes no difference, in my opinion, whether cryonics works or not -- those that love you shouldn't care about trivia like this whether its a great idea or nuts, and if they do there is something wrong. > She will have a hard time going through the mourning process when > I'm in suspension, That seems like it shouldn't be true. If she really believes that it won't work, then you've just gone for a funny burial process. If she does believe it will work, then she shouldn't be trying to stop you in the first place unless she wants to see you permanently dead. Either way, the only difficulty I can see being caused is that a controlling person might feel as though they didn't "win" and force you to be "buried normally"; if that would be a problem for her I would suggest that this is an abnormal feeling and one that you have no reason to pay attention to, least of all when you are deanimated. > That's why I'm still considering a brain-only suspension. Mike Darwin > graphically convinced me that it was far more risky than using the > brain's handy built-in carrying case, but if I donate several organs > to medicine for transplantation, and "donate" my brain to a cryonics > organization for "research", I'm hoping it won't be so difficult for > my family. Why not just donate your head to science and express the desire that you be cremated. They can still have the ashes just as though your head wasn't still hanging around... Perry Rate This Message: http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/rate.cgi?msg=3524